we are wired to soem degree to want sex and to think we need it...but most of that is just illusion brought about by evolutionary needs, not our own personal ones.... you do not necessarily live a better life devoting your time and energy to others... while others try to make you feel bad about being a hermit, there are thousands of monks and nuns who have known better.
A do gooding ego is still an ego - which is not to say it is bad, just calling it what it is. There is nothing wrong with being a hermit, but if you're a hermit because you're addicted to the bliss of emptiness, that's just another kind of attachment. It's the same thing if you're busy doing what would be considered good things because you're into this good guy identity. The real thing just comes naturally, while people interpret it as 'doing for others' the one who is actually there has no sense of other, neither is there any sense of self because the real thing makes any idea unnecessary. Better and higher is only meaningful when there's separation, and viewing the monastic life as better would be just another form of this. So I say don't be so quick to buy into the prevailing view of what the spiritual path is.
I do not think we are in disagreement...but I do think you may have misunderstood my intent. I am not saying any path is superior to any other, to me they are all the same in some ways all different in others.
but I am pointing out that what appears to be the nature of our existance leads to an internal drug addiction and those addicted being the majority making fun of and even harming at times those who deviate from the norms.
As to the path of enlightenment, I find that all systems, living or otherwise tend to seek stability and balance of forces as a natural result of the laws of physics... for a human this means seeking for a state of mind called peace or contentment.... since everything we do is caused by conditions which are the opposite of peace, namely, anxiety, boredom, dis-ease, etc.
As to spiritual paths, I find the term spirit from latin BREATH or HOT AIR, often means following BULL $#!+ dreamed up by the insane or the dishonest, or more often a bit of both, shepherds who are consciously or unconsciously preying on sheep... fleecing and leading them to the slaughter for the benefit of the shepherd.